So when a couple walks in my office door for counseling, I always turn to the Sound Relationship House to assess where they are at in their relationship.When we arrive at the Manage Conflict level of the Sound Relationship House and we begin to dialogue about issues, the concept of compromise, and its role in the couple becomes apparent instantly. Gottman found that compromise is essential to managing conflict in relationships. While two people may each have an idea of how a problem should be solved, at the end of the day they cannot take two separate approaches if their goal is to function as a team.If one person gets all of what they want, and the other doesn’t get their needs met at all, then that’s not teamwork.Plus, in a couple, we ideally want our partner to feel they were heard and understood.62 Experienced international speakers, such as Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, are careful to incorporate culture and language variations into their communication efforts.For important business communication, use a professional interpreter (for oral communication) or translator (for written communication). Effective Communication Across Cultures Enhance sensitivity toculture and diversity.If we’re too busy thinking our way is the best way, then we’re not showing a lot of respect and love to our partner, are we? If my partner isn’t willing to agree that my way is the way for both of us, I might as well accept getting some of my needs met instead of none.
As we were talking this morning we were remembering our anniversary last year and how horrible it was and how we promised each other we'd find help to help us renew our relationship which brought us to you. ---- NJ couple with 2 children Why do 50% of all marriages end in divorce? Max describes how in six sessions he can teach you and your spouse how to get the benefit of the difference you chose them for, instead of having those differences resulting in conflict.
If you can look at these conversations as opportunities to get to know your partner’s love maps – their values, their desires, and their priorities – I have a hunch these conversations will go a lot more smoothly and end with a greater intimacy between partners.
Rather than dreading the next disagreement, I encourage you all to see it as a chance to learn more about your partner, while also giving them something they want in the process.
One belief I picked up was the expectation that well-suited couples didn’t argue with one another.
A sign of a good relationship would be one where there was no conflict and everything was beautifully resolved before I even knew there was an issue. All couples disagree and those that say they don’t are likely bluffing. Gottman discovered, all couples fight, but it’s how they fight that distinguishes whether they will be dubbed “masters” or “disasters” of relationships.